Tuesday, May 31, 2011

She'll Grow Up Quickly

I’m still not exactly sure why, I think it could have been the heat, the bug bites from playing outside all day, teething, or just something that spooked her, but Bean woke up at 3:15am on Monday morning, Memorial Day, and she couldn’t get back to sleep. We tried for two hours to comfort her and rock her back to sleep in her room, with no luck. After that I think we drifted on and off of sleep until about 7:30am while she watched cartoons and finally dragged us out of bed to go play. Needless to say we were exhausted and cranky all day yesterday and it was one of those mornings where we were like “What, it’s only 10am? It has to be later than that.” And “We want another one of these? How will we survive???”  Getting ourselves through to her noon nap time was a challenge and seemed to take forever. When she’s tired, Bean clings like static to me; she wants nothing to do with her Daddy and follows me like a little shadow everywhere I go. With total fatigue yesterday I found myself more than annoyed with this, since I couldn’t get a second of time to do anything on my own. I’m short-tempered with her when I'm tired, and she returns the sentiment.  I always feel bad when this happens.  I don’t mean to be annoyed and short-tempered, it’s just that I can’t help it when I’m so tired that all I want to do is lay down. 
Mid-morning, with Bean coloring on my lap and squirming all over the place, I managed to surf some of my favorite blogs and was happy I did because I found this link. It stopped me in my annoyed tracks and brought tears to my eyes even with the fatigue. And it made me think – this little squirmy girl on my lap, my shadow who won’t leave me alone, who woke me out of my slumber last night and kept me up til dawn, will pretty soon grow up and leave me alone all the time and I’ll be the one trying to follow her around. Obviously I know this, literally every parent with older children says this – “Enjoy it while they’re little, they grow up so quickly.” But it is so hard to remember during those long minutes and hours of fatigue-laden toddlerville. A reminder like this blog post was all I needed to get myself out of my funk and back into enjoying my squirmy, tired, tantrum-prone toddler for the long morning. And we did make it to naptime, for a luxurious, refreshing, three hour family nap.  

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