I'm feeling very rusty with my writing. I've actually written about four posts to restart my blog, but I've tossed all of them. I don't know where to start and I'm overwhelmed with what to write about. My life has changed in so many ways over the last three months, all for the better, and it's hard to know what to write about. Everything is epic. So I'll keep this post simple just to get things going again.
Today was my first day back in the working world. My leave with my new son Colin (aka Cookie) is over. The last three months have been a whirlwind of baby craziness. We weren't expecting this one since we had gone on hold in our adoption process. See this post about going on hold. Things really do work out for a reason. His adoption was definitely one of those meant to be situations where things in the world came together in a way I never thought possible. I get goosebumps even thinking about it. Bean's adoption was so amazing that I didn't think I could feel that rush of emotion again. But I did. In a different but similar way. Now I have two most amazing times of my life events. Whenever I'm upset I just close my eyes and imagine the first time we met Bean, and the first time we met Cookie. And I'm not sad any more.
People ask me all the time if I'm upset that I didn't get to experience the miracle of childbirth. Um, no. My two miracle situations are way more interesting. The way they came into our lives and the very moment we met them would rival any childbirth story. No I am not upset about missing out on childbirth. My body is fully intact and I have two beautiful babies with their own unique stories. Why would I be upset?
My second maternity leave went way faster than the first, probably because life doesn't slow down for a three year old no matter what happens so we had to stay on Bean's frenetic pace. Bean's leave felt like a vacation. This one was more tiring. Those of you out there with more than one baby - did you feel like your second leave was more tiring? I feel a little guilty but I'm not sure I enjoyed it as much. It had nothing to do with how very amazing our new baby is, but more to do with how tired I am. I can't handle the fatigue any more like I used to.
Colin (aka Cookie for this blog) has grown from a tiny newborn to a roly poly baby. This kid has always been busy, so it's no surprise to us that he's way ahead on starting to move around. He's rolling over from his back to his tummy, about 2 months before he's supposed to. And he wants to crawl. He gets so annoyed that he can't move yet. It's probably just a matter of weeks before he starts to crawl. We are in trouble!! I'm trying to relax as much as I can now, because we will be chasing him very soon.
One of the other epic changes is my job situation. I now work from home instead of in a corporate office. I can't think of a more perfect job situation to balance life and work - a subject I am very passionate about. This opportunity came about at the perfect time, as I was really struggling with what to do after my part time contract with my previous company ended. I just started today so I don't know how I'll feel in six months. But so far I LOVE it, and I hope it works out. We have an office in our house that I love, which really helps. My husband now calls it the "mommy command center." I do feel like I could control a spaceship from in here. I loved my commute this morning. 10 feet from my kitchen to the office. I worry a little that it may get lonely, that I might miss the chit-chats I had with coworkers and the benefits of working together as a team on a daily basis. But I don't worry too much. I actually like being alone. Probably more than the average person. And no more of the annoying corporate meetings to talk about the "value add" that the company is bringing to their clients.
Bean is now a big sister, and has really outgrown her toddler ways. Other than the occasional tantrum, she is more and more of a little girl each day. We let her pick what color she wanted for her "big girl bedroom" for becoming a big sister, and she picked pink. And wow is it ever pink. But I love it and I'm happy she wanted this type of room. I wonder if this is the last time we'll agree on a color, that her room will look more like my style than her own. She's a strong headed little girl and will most likely pick things that are opposite of me just because she can. Who knows what she'll want when we change it up the next time. Neon orange you say? I hope not.
Life has certainly changed over the last three months. In so many ways. I'm still amazed at the way the universe moves along. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I believe there's a plan for us long before we are even here. I have learned to have faith in the plan, but to work at helping put the plan in motion for whoever it is above us that created it. I've learned that I love to write and to blog about the little things that happen in life. It helps me really recognize those things amidst the chaos of raising kids. I've missed blogging, but I'm glad I took the time to spend with my new family of four.
And now I've shaken off the rust, and Original Beans is back!!